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Hope after an affair

By September 11, 2015
September 11, 2015

We were aware of Relationship Lifeline thru friends. And warmly supported the idea of a place couples could go as a “last ditch effort.” But it wasn’t for us. Not until our marriage went from what I thought were calm blue skies to crash and burn carnage. For 20+ years, we considered ourselves an affair proof model marriage. We each married our best friend, deeply involved in ministry together, and often counseled other couples who were in trouble.

Then the unexpected. The power of “drift” entered into our picture, and we awoke to a nightmare neither of us ever dreamed we would face. I had become increasingly preoccupied with work and ministry, while my wife lost hope in our future, no less her own happiness. She fell for the aggressive advances of a casual acquaintance at our gym. Our lives exploded with shrapnel and carnage. Our marriage was now dead. With the help of our pastor, he pointed us to the door of Relationship Lifeline Intensive. We arrived – barely – numb, angry, helpless, hopeless, with instructions to “just show up and try to get something out of the weekend, if just for yourself.”

Intensive is the right name. It was the hardest work you could ever imagine, but on yourself. It was open heart surgery. Quadruple bypass. At one point my wife cried so hard her nose was bleeding. But through the brokenness was the beginning of a new hope.

After the weekend it was intensive care with Margaret, weekly phone counseling, and frankly years of hard personal work. But with new hope. Without doubt our Lifeline weekend was THE turning point to a brighter future together. Years later, we have experienced the faithfulness of being fully reconciled and healed. And equipped for the purpose of declaring to others – there is hope for complete recovery after an affair. Life and marriage is BETTER than it before our trauma! And Lifeline was the first step to our healing journey.