We are a blended family that struggled seeing eye to eye on parenting, money and communication. After several bouts of counseling, off and on with our pastors and professional counselors, our marriage seemed hopeless. We were both exhausted from fighting, and not speaking.
The day before our 8th anniversary in 2013 we separated for the 2nd and last time in our marriage. During the next 2 months everything just got worse, to the point where working things out just wasn’t an option for Melissa any longer. That’s when our pastors asked us to attend Relationship Lifeline. Out of a prideful obedience, Melissa reluctantly agreed to go. By this time in the separation, Rob was fighting for our marriage. His attempts to communicate during the separation just made out worse for Melissa, pushing her farther away from any reconciliation. Anger, resentment and years of hurts, were keeping us apart and threatened us from even attending the Lifeline weekend.
December 2013, Lifeline weekend finally came. With a bleak outlook, we drove there in separate cars, stayed in separate hotels, and in 2 different cities. Melissa didn’t want anything to do with Rob. She was there for closure so she could make healthier decisions for her kids in the future. Rob came to fight for our marriage and family.
During the 4 days at Lifeline, our eyes were opened wider and clearer than we could have imagined. The process of learning how to forgive and heal was started in way we had never seen or experienced before. Each of us experienced a life changing moment during different exercises in the program. We have been able to see each other through different eyes (lenses), listen through different ears, and we now realize that we have good intentions for each other and our family, even if we don’t see eye to eye. The respect level for each other had never been higher, and it keeps growing every day. Our love for each other is more than the day we got married, and will be stronger tomorrow. We still have our moments, but those moments are so much easier to fix and in a lot shorter and loving timeframe.
For us personally, what keeps us growing stronger and stronger it’s going back to be a TA (Training Assistant) as much as we can. We try very hard to go every month. Being a TA completes the circle of attending the program. While attending you’re experiencing each exercise for the 1st time, but as a TA you are behind the scenes and get to watch people heal and grow before your eyes. There is nothing like this experience! We are forever grateful for how this program has changed our legacy, marriage and family.
Rob & Melissa Gutierrez June 10, 2015